Anal Sex

14 Sep

Whether it’s something that scares you or interests you, we’ve all thought about it. I think anal sex comes up in every relationship at one time or another and you never really know what kind of reaction you’re going to get.

Some people are off-put at the very thought of it, some people love the idea, and some people are undecided. But really, how can you know until you give it a try?

Regardless of your gender, orientation, or relationship status, everyone is capable of experimenting with this erogenous zone. Whether it be solo or with a partner.


To the gentlemen

Boys, I know, I know. ‘No way Jose!’ but hear me out here, your g-spot is in your butt! You actually have a little pleasure button up there! It’s your prostate, and you really should not be ignoring the pleasure your body is capable of experiencing.

To my straight males, experiencing pleasure this way does not make you gay, and it does not make you any less of a man. If you ask me, it makes you more of a man because you are taking charge of your sexuality. So really, just do yourself a favour and play with your prostate.


To the Ladies

Now, I’m sorry, you do not have a prostate/G-spot in your butt, but, there are still a bunch of nerve endings there. These nerve endings also provide pleasure.


To everyone

Alright now, that that’s settled, let’s get into how you can make anal an enjoyable experience! Whether you’re using fingers, toys, or penises, it’s all the same.



Go out and buy lube. Get a nice quality lube. The anus does not self-lubricate like the vagina does. You will need lots of lube. More than you think you do. If you are using silicone toys, use water-based lube. If you are using non-silicone toys, or having intercourse, you can use silicone based lubes. They are thicker, last longer, and is what anal-specific lubes are.

Condoms. Treat anal sex as if it were any other sex. You still need to protect yourself.

Now obviously, cleanliness is always a concern here. And there are a bunch of products out there designed to help clean you out. But I will talk about those another time because the research is pretty undecided as to whether or not douching is actually safe or harmful.

Really all you need to do is eat healthy, which you should be doing anyways, and go to the bathroom beforehand. Really. That’s it. If you do this, you should be fine. There is always the chance of an accident, but it just comes with the territory. You know what you’re signing up for.

If you are doing this with a partner, make sure to talk it out with them first. Make it clear what you are comfortable with. Come up with a safe word if you need to.


Go time

Alright, so you’re ready to get hot and heavy, what now? First of all, foreplay. Foreplay. Foreplay. Foreplay. Making sure you are nice and aroused will help you relax. Being relaxed will make penetration more comfortable. The tenser you are, the less comfortable.

Go slow. Listen to your body, it knows what’s best. If something hurts, stop! This experience is not supposed to be painful. A little uncomfortable at first maybe, but not painful.

Pain is your body’s way of saying “stop, something is wrong here!” I don’t know where people got this idea that anal sex is supposed to hurt and you’re just supposed to push through it. No. no. no. no. Please do not do that. You can damage your body this way.

Lube is your best friend in reducing risk of pain.

As a general rule, I recommend starting small and working your way up. This will reduce the possibility of pain. Start with a finger, then two, then three. Or start with a small anal plug or other toy, and size the toys up. (*remember that whenever you are using a toy anally, it must have a flared base so that there is no chance of the toy getting lost. Yes that is a thing.)

Keep in mind there is a big difference between using a plug, which usually remains stationary verses a toy or person thrusting. You might be able to handle one size for one but not the other.

I know it sounds inconvenient, but anal really isn’t something you should just dive into on a whim. Working your way up also gives you a small taste of the real thing, before deciding it’s something you want to do.

With any size, make sure that every time you start slow and gentle, and let your body adjust to what’s happening before you decided to get rough with it. Your body will thank you.

Now remember, porn is not real life. Just because you see some porn star "take it like a champ", doesn’t mean you can. Behind the scenes, these actors take days, even weeks to prepare for a scene.

I know it sounds like a lot of work, but it can be very rewarding in the end! Be safe! Have fun!