People always ask me how to give good head. Whether it’s on a person with a penis or a person with a vulva.
And I know that people are always looking for a one-size-fits-all answer. A single suggestion that will guarantee pleasure for their partner and label them an oral sex master.
But it’s not that simple. Because everyone is different.
I really wish I could just walk you through the steps to a perfect blowjob from start to finish, but there is no such thing.
So my biggest advice for you is just don’t be afraid to “do it wrong”.
Everyone is different and everyone likes different things. So all you have to do is take the time to figure out what that partner likes. Try creating different sensations. Concentrate on different areas. Use different combinations of sensations.
Some women (or people with vulvas) might like really light licking on their clitorus. Some might like sucking. Some might even like biting. Some women might need the added stimulation of a finger on her G-Spot.
Some men (or people with penises) might like the focus to be on the head of the penis. Some might like having the base massaged. Some might even like biting. Some men might need a little bit of attention on the testicles.
It’s okay to ask your partner what it is they like best. Asking might even be a turn-on.
And if they don’t know, or even if they do, just try a bunch of stuff. Ask if they like it. Pay attention to their reactions.
Anything you can think to do with your mouth, is probably pleasurable to someone.
But the most pleasurable thing of all, even if you aren’t technically very good, is if you are enjoying yourself.
If your partner feels like you are going down on them out of obligation and not out of enjoyment, they will not enjoy themselves either.
Oral sex isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay. You just need to be open to talking about it and finding alternatives that work for both of you.
Have fun, stay safe!