Porn and Fantasies


16 Feb

I always hear two contradicting points;

Use porn as an educational tool to help you figure out what you’re supposed to do in the bedroom.

And,

Porn is just for entertainment, you shouldn’t take it seriously. Don’t get your sex ed from porn.

Now I wanna explain why I live somewhere in the middle. I think porn is an excellent aid. But should never be considered education.

Something everyone needs to remember is that porn is acting. Just because a woman in a scene is reacting well to something her co-star is doing, does not mean that position or action is going to actually be pleasurable. Chances are, that positon choice is only because it looks good on camera.

But that doesn’t mean that you can’t take similar ideas and make them your own, and see how they work for you. A fun thing to do with your partner is to watch porn together and find a positon you think looks interesting, and then try to re-create it. It might not be a great positon, but it can be a good way to bring a little humor into the bedroom. Or kitchen. Or whatever the porn was set.

Also, just because a pornstar can do it, doesn’t mean you can, or should. There is a lot of stuff in porn that is dangerous or harmful. Such as diving into anal without warming up first, or using food. Stuff like this can be fun to watch, but is not worth the risks of trying it out yourself. 

Please read up or ask someone educated if you are unsure of how safe something is. 

Watching porn with your partner can also be a great way to bring up trying new things that might be a little uncomfortable to bring up otherwise. Say you’re really into the idea of impact play, but you don’t know how to ask your partner to spank you. Find a spanking scene, and see how your partner reacts. If they seem like they might be into it, ask them. “So what do you think of this spanking scene? Pretty hot hey! I was thinking maybe we could try it?” And this can easily lend itself to the follow up conversation of your partner opening up about something they want to try. “I would be willing to do that! Can I show you a scene of something I’m interested in?”

Porn is great for singles and solo sessions too. It’s a great place to explore your fantasies.

There are lots of fantasies I enjoy in porn but don’t feel any need to try in real life.

It’s a safe, easy, risk free way to let yourself explore. You can watch anything that catches your eye, and if you realize you’ve landed on a fantasy that really rubs you the wrong way, you can just back out of the video. The worst thing that can happen is you find a new fantasy.

There are no such thing as bad fantasies. Because that's what they are. Fantasies. They're in your head. There's no way to harm anyone or make anyone do something they aren't comfortable with.

And I think it’s important to have fantasies that allow you to have me-time. I’m not saying you need to keep these fantasies a secret, go ahead and share with your partner what you like to jerk off to when they aren’t around.

But definitely take the time to please yourself even if you see your partner frequently or live together. It’s important to build and keep that bond with yourself.

In a world where masturbation is still looked down on, treat yourself. You deserve it.

Have fun, stay safe.

What are your thoughts on porn?